One thing...

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Day #2 is in full effect and so far so good.  I had to talk myself into getting on the treadmill.  I just kept thinking about how I would feel if I didn't and that gave me just enough motivation to do it.  I have been very intentional with my food choices.  I am writing it down.  It's back to the basics for this girl.  It is unbelievable how much mindless eating I was doing before.  Hopefully another couple of clean eating days and the sugar cravings will go away! 

Baby steps. { I will do one thing today.  Thing: write down what I eat.  }

I was clicking through the archives last night and a few of my posts had pictures.  I was pretty much amazed at how thin/lean I looked.  It goes to show that we are our worst critic.  My personal opinion is since I was such a large girl for so long, I will probably always have some body dysmorphia.  Now to get back to where I was this summer so I can fit into my summer wardrobe!

In other news, I started the Hunger Games last night at about 11:30.  I figured I'd read for a half hour to make me sleepy.  Well, about 4 1/2 hours later I went to bed!  Good book.  I'm excited to read the next couple in the series.  There has been a lot of hype about this series; I'm interested to see if the rest of the books are as good as the first.  Not bad for young adult fiction. 

I'm off to shower and write a object relation theory paper which isn't really a paper.  Its a weird assignment and am hoping that my BS will suffice =)  Happy Friday!



Intentionality...

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Let's not even talk about my goals for February, mmmk!  Obviously, they didn't happen.  I'm ok with that because that's the type of person I am.  I am not a dweller.  I am not a worrier.  Sometimes this is bad...  like when you are struggling with your weight. 

I love food.  Absolutely love food.  But I don't really love the stuff that's good for you.  I love chocolate, sweets, pastries, and cheesy goodness.  This is fine in moderation.  And over the last year or two I had worked really hard on moderation.  But here I am, back at square one.  Binging on these - oh, so delicious- foods.  Gaining weight.  I feel like I am spiraling out of control.  I won't even be craving the food and I will automatically go to the cupboard for something chocolaty and that's starts the cycle...

So, now it's March 1st.  I know everyday is a new beginning but there is something more definite about a beginning of a month or a beginning of a week for me.  I've been thinking a lot about my horrible eating habits, exercising, and just being healthy in general.  I tried to think back to where I was down almost 60 lbs. from my starting weight (let's not talk about where I am now).  What was I eating?  What was my exercise routine?  How did I get started to begin with?  'Cause lets be honest, I feel like I have undone all the hard work I had accomplished.  I know that isn't 100% true, but there is some truth to it. 

Here is what I came up with.  I was 100% committed.  I whole heartedly wanted to lose weight. Now, I know we all think I want to lose weight, but if you aren't willing to do something about it, then you are not ready.  It is hard work, it is tears, it is sweat, it is salad...lots of salad, and very little desserts.  It isn't easy but I remember what I felt like this summer and it is totally WORTH IT. 

I feel like crap right now and I don't want to feel that way.  So, for March my goal is to live with intention.  Is it SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, trackable)?  Not really.  But I think it is life changing.  All of my choices have consequences.  Good and bad.  I decide what my mood is going to be like.  I decide how busy my social life is.  I decide if I am going to leave that paper until last minute. 

Intentionality.  It isn't going to be easy but the ride is going to be worth it.  So worth it. 

P.S.  I intentionally made myself some breakfast this morning =) 

Day 1: Check