Holy Shit...

Pardon my French!

So, if you know me in real life, you are probably lucky enough to have heard me bitch about my 682 project (I'll stop with the language now).  And if you don't know me, I'm more than welcome to share =)  Anywho, so in order for me to start collecting data for my clinical research project, I had to get approval through the IRB (institutional review board) to make sure my study wasn't going to harm anyone.  My research advisor (read biggest, stupidest, meanest person in the world) had to approve the application before I could even send it.  

There are different levels of reviews.  Full board is the highest, a group of IRB staff actually get together physically to review your project because it has the highest risk of causing harm.  The next level is expedited which means your proposal is sent to two or three others electronically to review. And so on and so forth...there are four levels total.  Anyway, all along my research advisor has been like "Oh, you are going to be  full board, you need to get this, this, and this in place, and they still probably aren't going to approve it."  This ended up in me changing my project a little bit...but I informed her that I was stubborn and refused to change some things even if this meant that the IRB made me change them later. 

Fast forward to my IRB application submission.  I submitted it as a full board review.  The next day I get an e-mail stating that after the initial review, my project was not full board but expedited.  Awesome!  And booyah psycho research advisor!   So I changed it to expedited and waited patiently.  The turn around time on the applications has been around two to three weeks so I wasn't expecting to hear back from them for another week or two and then I knew I would still need to make the suggested changes they request before I get approval. 

Well, you can imagine my surprise when I just checked my e-mail and there was a message stating that my project was approved.  I didn't really fully understand and figured that meant I needed to log into their website to see their suggested changes.  So I did...nothing.  I could find absolutely nothing except a letter stating that I could begin my research!  And that's where the "holy shit" comes in!  It was my first thought...and honestly I am still thinking it. 

My research advisor has done nothing but rip apart my work and tell me that what I wanted to do wouldn't fly.  I haven't felt supported at all and have been questioning my ability and skill and wondering how I ever made it into the program.  This just reaffirms all my negative thoughts about my research advisor and gives me a major boost in my confidence.  She may have the final say on my pass/fail grade but there is no way she can fail me with the work I have put into the project and frankly I don't think I'm going to be jumping to make all of her suggested changes anymore...not that I jumped to begin with, I did them begrudgingly. 

So today I am a happy girl.  Now to get my survey created in Qualtrics and sent out to the world!

P.S.  I'm doing research on what military spouses of current service members consider to be risk and protective factors for suicidal ideation and when I have a link to the survey I will post it so if you or your friends meet the criteria to take it you can do so and share it with others!!!

XOXO,
     NMO