The Honest Truth...

Life is hard.  Eating healthy is hard.  Exercising consistently is hard.  We all know what we need to do but for some reason, what we NEED to do, is so HARD to do. 

 I haven't posted since my run recap.  My drop off the face of the blog world wasn't intentional.  Life got busy.  The beginning of September (it may have been the end of August) I started my second semester of graduate school.  This included an extra 20 hrs. a week of internship on top of the five classes I was taking.  I slowly watched my attendance at the gym decrease but I tried to continue my healthier eating habits.  Before I knew it, it was the end of November and the jeans I had purchased this summer were getting tight.  Fast forward to now.  There is one pair I can't even wear anymore!   

I attribute this to lack of exercise and stress eating.  I was only running on average about 4 times a month.  Yikes!  I went from working out 6 days a week to 4 times a month...not good.  And on top of that, the busier life/school got, the more I stuffed my face.  I'm not talking about stuffing my face with carrots and salad.  Instead I was craving and eating chocolate like it was going out of style!  

 I'm not going to lie...I was/am miserable.  There are some days where I just don't want to get out of bed; I'm so lethargic!  Part of this is just pure laziness and the other part is the big clinical research paper we have to write.  The chair of my paper <------read research advisor, is a pain in my ass!  Pardon my French.  She is in the process of writing her dissertation, has never chaired before, and therefore is projecting her issues and perfectionism on me.  The problem is that I have her for two classes both of which are two semester classes and you are not allowed to change teachers for the second semester.  So, I couldn't or rather chose not to have some confrontational discussions with her.

Where I am now.  I am so unhappy with myself and my choices.  That is what it boils down to.  There is no reason for me to scapegoat someone else or to blame my unhappiness on school. Obviously there are external influences on my mood and decisions but ultimately I chose the path I am taking and I choose whether or not I am going to be happy. 

With that being said I have a few goals for the month of February. 

• Drink 64 oz. of water every day.  No pop. (I got in the habit of having about one or two a month during my evening class for the caffeine)

• Only one treat a day.  This is to help work on my chocolate addiction.  That one treat can be whatever I want, as big as I want but only one a day.  (I have been eating mini candy bars, cookies, ice cream...you name it, I probably ate it.  Unfortunately now I crave some chocolate or sugar after every single meal!) 

• At least 20 minutes of exercise at least 3 times per week.  In my head this seems like nothing compared to what I had been doing this summer but if I'm consistent it will also be way more than what I have been doing in the last couple of months.  I've also come to the conclusion that if I am using this 20 minutes on the treadmill, my running speed should increase.  When I was more focused on longer runs I had to slow my pace down so I could last longer.  (I do want to run a half marathon this year...but I will focus on that after graduation!)

• Stay organized and on top of school work.  The more organized I am the more time I will have to eat healthy and exercise.  Also it will cut down on some of the stress in life and hopefully help with the stress eating. 

So, why am I doing this... besides the whole unhappy thing.  Well, this summer around the beginning of June I hit the lowest weight I can ever remember being.  I weighed 163 lbs.  I plateaued comfortably at about 168 lbs. for the rest of the summer and beginning of the semester.  I was pretty dang happy with my body and had high hopes of losing "the last ten pounds".   Unfortunately, those ten pounds went the other direction.  I currently weight 178 lbs.  When losing ten pounds it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but let me tell ya, I can tell a huge difference gaining ten pounds. 

This summer we went wedding dress shopping for my cousin.  I tried on a twelve in a bridesmaid dress and had about 3 inches that it would need to be taken in on top.  The ten wouldn't quite zip.  Last week we went back and I tried on the same dress.  The twelve barely zipped =( and I would probably be more comfortable in a fourteen.  So...its time to order dresses.  I really don't want to order a fourteen but what if I don't lose weight?!  What's a girl to do?

Both size 12...I weigh about 10 lbs more on the right!

Sorry, this became very long winded.  But I think it helps getting it on paper...or out in the open, however you want to think about it =) 

XOXO,

      NMO

Jica...What?!?!

Dear Blog World,

For those of you who know me...which is probably all of you.  You know that I MAYBE eat 3 vegetables all together.  Well, I have been working with the trainer (envision her talking at me and me giving her a lot of eye rolls) on eating properly.  First of all, I just want to say eating healthy is not fun, it's expensive, and kind of time consuming.  One of her goals for me is to eat more vegetables, which means I have to TRY more vegetables.  BLECH! 

She insisted that I try a Jicama.  She said it's sweeter like an apple.  I don't know what kind of apple she is eating but I disagree.  Anyway, she said you just peel it, cut it up, and eat it.  And if I didn't like it I could dip it in peanut butter, hummus, or something like that.  So, I figured what do I have to lose?! 

Ok, so I finally worked up the courage to try it with moral support from a friend.  I started to peel it only to realize that our potato peeler sucked and that wasn't going to do the job.  So I got a paring knife.  Unfortunately, since I never cook I have no business using a paring knife and was almost certain I was going to cut off a finger trying to peel this baby.  Luckily, my friend was all over that.  The Jicama was peeled before I knew it and I was putting a piece of that potato looking veggie in my mouth. 

It really doesn't have that much flavor and was kind of boring to eat by itself.  So, I promptly got out the peanut butter which made everything better.  I'll chalk this one up as a win.  It didn't make me gag and it's supposedly good for me.  So I bought another one.  Any suggestions on what I should try next?

Counting Calories...

Counting calories is definitely not my forte.  Almost a month ago, I had my monthly meeting with my trainer.  I was due for a new metabolic test...which means said trainer made me run on the treadmill ruthlessly with a crazy mask on.  This allows me to figure out what my zones are.  I have mentioned before that my runs are dictated by my zones.  These would be the zones I'm talking about. 

Anywho, with all of the training I have done my zones should have improved.  Improvement would mean that my zones would have gotten smaller and/or went up.  That was not the case.  My trainer stared at the computer screen with a "what the heck" look on her face. 

Ok, back track to prior to the test.  While setting up my trainer asked my how my nutrition had been.  I stated that it had been a bad month.  MONTH!, she exclaimed.  Yup.  I went on explaining to her that I ate great at breakfast and lunch and that by the end of the day I was ravenous and would eat pretty much anything in sight.  Of course, she asked how many calories I was eating....and of course, I didn't have a clue.  So, she grabbed my Heart Rate Monitor from me and looked through my last two weeks of workouts to see how many calories I had been burning each day.  Averaged them out and WA-LA!  That is how I started counting calories.

On average I am burning 500-600 calories extra a day.  Which means I have to eat 2200 calories a day if I want to lose weight.  Say WHAT?  Yeah, that's how I felt too.  And then the metabolic testing reiterated it by showing that my metabolism had slowed down.  She attributed this to my nutrition.  She explained that if you are not getting enough calories your body will go into starvation mode, hence no weight loss for muah!  She was happy that we do this test every couple of months cause then we caught the 'overtraining' before it was too late.  Over training, ha!  I love it. 

I'm sorry that I can not explain this concept as well as she did but I promise it made perfect sense.  Anyway, back to calories.  So the first week after that test I wrote down everything I ate and how many calories I was consuming.  Wow, I never thought I would say this but I was having a hard time consuming 2200 (healthy) calories a day and that was with adding protein powder to random food.  Once I got the general idea of what constituted a 2200 calorie day...I quit counting.  Let's be honest that is hard work! 

Good news!  It is working.  I have lost about three pounds since then.  I am not feeling deprived.  In fact it is quite the opposite.  I feel like all I do is EAT!  I find that if I don't get snacks in between meals I am scurrying at the end of the night to reach my calorie goal!  I have noticed that I don't crave sweets as often.  I think it is because I'm always eating so I'm always feeling full.  No mindless eating, really. 

I'm sorry this became very winded.  I have been meaning to blog about it for awhile, hence the copious paragraphs and random tangents.  I have about 6 other things I'd like to blog about but unfortunately I have already reached my procrastination quota for the evening. 

XOXO,
     NMO

Cleaning Out My Closet...

 Garage sale coming up this weekend.  I went through all my clothes and purged anything I haven't worn in a year, that was too big, or just fit funny.  Oh, boy I think I have a shopping issue, cause the closet is still full! 

This picture is from last year around this time.  Hooray for weight loss!

XOXO,
     NMO

Ramblings...

Where have I been?  I really don't know to tell you the truth.  I have a very not-so-much-exciting life.  The days have been mundane and I have really been lacking motivation to do pretty much anything.  My room is...absolutely disgusting and the bathroom is getting there.  Once again I am deeming tomorrow as "Clean Every Surface Day".  I should really throw in "Organize" too.  But lets be honest, I don't want to get over zealous. 

My workouts have been going well.  It makes me happy that I am a little sore the day after even though I am doing the same weight lifting routines every other week.  My runs have been good.  I never thought I would say this...but running is actually quite addicting.  Do I have to talk myself into doing it still?  Yes!  Do I think about how much work it is as I do it?  Of course!  But here is the kicker... Do I feel amazing/accomplished afterwards?  That's a heck yes!   That feeling keeps me coming back for more. 

Back in the day when I used to make fun of people who ran for fun, it really hurt me to run.  Seriously, my lungs burned, my legs became tired after two seconds, and I thought my heart was going to pump right out of my chest.  That doesn't happen anymore.  Well, most of the time it doesn't.  On Monday, during my sprint workout, I was almost positive that I was either going to A) throw up or B) pass out.  Guess what?  I am just melodramatic.  I didn't do either.  I kicked that run in the butt finishing it...looking like I was going to die...but finishing none the less.  My heart is getting stronger and I am getting stronger and it definitely shows in my runs. 

Nutrition wise...I have blown it, yet again.  I don't know what it is about sweets and treats but they have me under their spells.  It is a good thing I am burning some major calories at the gym or I would have gained 10 lbs. by now.  But on the flipside I think about the results I could be seeing if I was eating properly and working out like a mad women.  Can we say weight loss?!  *Sigh*  They say knowledge is power.  Now if I was only smart enough or had the self control to follow through on this!  

Sorry, this post has become extremely long.  Excuse my ramblings...this is what happens when you don't blog for a few days.  You'll have a great night.

XoXo,
     NMO

Comments and Confessions...

• I ate very, very, very poorly yesterday and today!  But it was, Oh!, soo delicious!  MMMmmm {that was for Megan  if she is reading this =) }
• I did not get my Saturday run in...if I miss it Saturday I run it Sunday...didn't happen.
• I completed 8 sprints at 8.5 for 45 secs. on the treadmill today.  45 secs. at 3.0 in between.  It felt good...really good!  
• Went to a Pampered Chef Party where old co-workers told me I "looked great" and was "wasting away!"  I need to hang out with them more often!  I purchased a garlic press!!! {Megan will also appreciate this!}
• Tomorrow is an abs day.  I am gonna rock them again this week because apparently my core strength sucks!
• Arts Camp was this weekend.  I wish I had at least an ounce of the energy these kids have.  But am glad I am not that annoying anymore.  I am not...right guys?!!!
• My room is messy.  Like messy to the point where it is bugging the crap out of me.  I have it penciled in on my "To-Do" list for Wednesday along with cleaning every other surface in this house!  
• One of my all time favorite passages: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  Proverbs 16:9

Good Night All!  Hope your weekend was lovely!

XoXo,
     NMO

Ugh

                                        Poorly lit post yoga shot...don't be jealous of my photography skills!

Procrastination.  I am writing this post, not because I have something intelligent to share, but because I am procrastinating.  I should be pulling my hair back into a ponytail as we speak...but instead I am lying in bed thinking about how much work the gym is going to be.  I contemplated skipping today.  I have never skipped a lifting workout.  But that would be very weak of me.  And since I am going out of town tonight I won't get a work out in until Sunday evening.  So let's be honest, skipping really isn't an option.  It just sounds like a lot of work.  Ok, I KNOW it is a lot of work...not even guessing.  Obviously, I am not getting stronger by lying here.  So I need to pull on my big girl panties and just do it.  They should make a Nike commercial about that.  Just sayin'.  Ok, up with me!  Off to the gym...I'm gonna fake it until it is real!  

XoXo,

         NMO

Recap

I broke down on Tuesday and did my abs.  A whole hour of abs.  It was pure torture and I am only exaggerating a little.  It hurts to lay, move, and even breathe.  Seriously, they are sore to the touch.  Ok, I'm done whining.  Obviously, it is good for me if it hurts so much.  Why can't getting in shape be easy...something like eat this candy bar and you will be a size 2!  Ha!  Now that is what I am talking about!

I was scheduled a 40 min. run today.  It felt amazing.  Right now my runs are dictated by heart rate zones.  My long runs are always 2 minutes in zone 1 and 1 minute  in zone 2...rinse. repeat.  I can tell my heart is getting stronger.  I have to run faster to get my heart rate up and my recovery rate is also improving.  Definitely a good thing, unless I want to be a slacker that day...then I have to work hard anyway!  Sheesh, I tell ya, this getting in shape stuff is not for the weak ;)

Tomorrow is yoga day!  I still think yoga is really boring but last week I did find an amazing stretch for that spot in my buttocks that has been bugging me.  It also does not involve lifting massive amount of weights 3 sets of 15.  I really like that fact.  I find I have to psych myself up for Mon. and Fri. which are my lifting days...it's really not that bad but I have sprints after too.  Ok, now I am just whining again! 

Now if I could just maintain some healthy eating habits.  I have been craving chocolate like no man's business lately!  All this Easter candy does not help.  Need. Self. Control.  I'll work on that...but now I'm going to bed!

XoXo,
     NMO

Today I...



Today I got up at 6:15 a.m.!  Hold your applause ladies and gentleman!  It of course was not by choice, my chauffuer duties were needed =)

I was very sad when I realized I bought the (Lemon Scent) Bathroom Spray Dow =(  Seriously, gross!  But the bathrooms are clean!

I missed yoga so I had an active recovery run (whatever that means) instead.  It felt real good. Then proceeded to stretch my body out...I have had this tightness in my left buttock that I have not been able to stretch out.  Annoying! 

I did laundry which means my room got a little bit cleaner too.

I completed the FAFSA...yup I'm poor. 

And today was weigh in day.  I was up 2 lbs.  Not too worried about it.  I decided to take measurements in hopes for a non-scale victory (NSV) and was down an inch on my waist and hips!  Hooray!  I will admit I had a couple of binges this week.  The cookies and trail mix were calling my name!  Self control went out the door...but thats how the journey works.  Something about chocolate and sugar...they have been calling my name. 

Tomorrow is a new day and my dear friend Jenn is coming to visit.  I can't wait!!!

The Good, the Bad, and the UGLY!

Well, here goes nothing!

Eeek!  Wow, the scary thing is I didn't even realize how large I had become.  Real classy, I know.  Nothing like posing with a cake at your top weight!

Not quite bikini body but getting there. 

As of right now my goal is 155 lbs. but that may change depending what 155 lbs. looks like on my body.  I am very sore today.  Every trainer loves to hear that.  I am scheduled for a run today and am hoping I won't get a side ache.  The last two runs I did I got a horrible right side ache.  Not fun!  I am totally focused right now and don't need a stupid side ache getting in the way if my success.  Thus is life. 

XoXo,

     NMO

Hello World

So, many moons ago I started a blog.  That is about where the blog ended too.  I figured I am not eloquent, I'm not crafty, what am I trying to prove?  Well, I have mulled over these thoughts the last couple of years and have made some changes in my life and now I am ready to share.  Let me clarify.  When I say share...I really mean whine, celebrate victories, talk about how life sucks, and mostly to help keep myself accountable. 

Over the last two years I have lost around 50 lbs. (YEA Me!)  Let me tell you, it wasn't easy.  I love food and am a very picky eater.  I don't even know if I know what a vegetable is?  Ok, so maybe that is a little extreme but you get the point.  I didn't use any fad diets or supplements.  I did it the honest to goodness way.  I ate smaller portions and moved my body more.  I found out quickly that if I wasn't eating as much, I had to make my food choices count so that I could remain fuller longer.  Then I reached a plateau.  Probably not a plateau in the true definition but a plateau in my definition.  I was exercising 6x a week.  I started letting my eating habits slip, cause of course I justified that I was exercising all the time so I could eat all the time too.  Wrong!  Ok, so that isn't wrong if you want to maintain.  I didn't want to maintain.  I wanted to continue to lose weight.  It is kind of addicting, I'm not gonna lie! So that brings me to today. 

On Februrary 3rd, I started the weight watchers plus online program.  So far I have lost 7 lbs.  I also had received some Lifetime dollars that could be used for personal training sessions at Lifetime, of course.  I set up my appointments and prayed that the trainer I would get would "get me" ( I am not always the best at verbalizing my thoughts).  That they would be able to motivate me.  That they would be able to help me on my journey.  It is my personal opinion that if you have a crappy trainer you will gain nothing.  Good news.  I like my trainer.  Her name is Nikki and she has conviced me that I want to run a 10K.  WHAT?!  UHHH! That's what I said!  She believes in me and said of course we will have you do a 5K before that but you have to have something you are training for.  Makes sense, right?

Today she helped me set up what a week of workouts would look like along with a strength routine for runners, so basically muscle endurance.  It looks very doable on paper.  I may not be able to walk tomorrow but that is a minor detail!  I will check in with her weekly to make sure I am not dying and will have a session with her once a month to tweak things as I progress.  OOoooh, progress, I like the sound of that!  I am shooting for the 10K by the end of the summer, so Sept/Oct...and will probably do the 5K when she tells me to.  I am really great at following orders...and I only called her Satan ONCE this morning.  So all and all I think this will work out just fine.  And you lovely peeps get to join me on my journey!  Aren't you excited?!  I am!!!  Will you please remind me that in a couple of weeks when I am ready to quit?....Thanks! 

Alright, tomorrow I will post a pic of me at my top weight...glamorous I know... and the lovely self timed pic I took the first day I started WWplus online, so basically a current pic.  Please.  Hold your excitement! 

XoXo, 

     NMO